THE BRAIN DRAIN YOU DID NOT EVEN KNOW ABOUT…

The happiness in years beyond eighty

No, it’s not a daily occurring in my life. But lately I notice myself wishing it was.

The interactions have been just so brilliant and awe inspiring. Even in the most mundane aspects of life they talk about. It’s perhaps just the way they look at life. Their knowledge silver lined with their experiences. Wondering where I am taking this?

I am talking about our elderly. People who we almost forget in our daily rush. The elderly who are fortunate to see life beyond the age of eighty. Our own, who are repositories of ‘Gyan’, respectfully ignored during the dinner table conversations. But no, it would be wrong to label my recent interactions with this generation as ‘Gyan sessions’. It was anything but that. And that’s what made me fall in love here.

So, I am recently married. I have lived independently most of my life. After high school, I shifted to a different town to experience the college life. And there began the journey, punctuated by nights of instant noodles (mostly because of lack of resources to buy healthier food options) and earth shattering heart breaks of failed relationships. Given that my parent and siblings have always been in different towns, it’s understandable that my interaction with even fifty plus aged people have been superbly far and few. And I would be adding my late night five minute chats with the white-haired guard ji of my Upscale Delhi colony amidst the ‘far and few’. The marriage however, brought in a gamut of relatives into my life. And for once, I was open to the idea of experiencing family up close. The positive attitude that I carry everywhere I say (too much). I was soon introduced to my husband’s maternal grandmother. She is 85 years old. And no kidding, she met me in a pair of trousers with these uber cool dark glasses and eyes that sparkled, even beneath the greyness that years of wisdom bring with them. One thing you notice about her instantly. She is the ‘Joie De Vivre’ of every situation. She continues to be the force that’s kept the family together. She never could learn to speak English. Every reason, she says, to have taught all her five kids in English medium schools. The most forward outlook I realised for our parents who were kids then. She went to the Disney world recently and was most excited as her wheel chair gave her priority entry into every ride she chose. Imagine that. The love for life you need to have to take experience to this level. I will be surprised if I have the energy or the inclination to go all the way even at the age of forty-five.

So, this one beautiful early winter afternoon, I found myself alone at home with her and I decided to ask the most ‘Gyan session’ level question I could muster – With the 80 plus years of experience, what could be the one advice she can give me? She replied almost instantly – Smile through it all. Every experience happens rarely in life. Good or bad. And to bring yourself to the level where you can smile through them all shows one has achieved peace with life itself.

It is something about this age. They lived through World Wars, the Independence struggle, the partition, the family feuds, the deaths of their loved ones and even the daily heart breaks of seeing their materialist gains disappear over the years. And yet, you should see them. Do talk to one of them, one of these days. You will not be disappointed. These people have realised the minuteness of every day incidents. The futility of running after everything. They have learnt how to bring humour into life. They have learnt to smile through it all.

I wish we do too. A bit sooner would be nice.

-The Anonymous Writer

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THE ‘DO-NOT GIFT THIS VALENTINES’ GUIDE

Of course, it’s not easy! and Of course, it requires weeks of research. So if you don’t want your bu** kicked make sure your Valentines Gift does not feature in the following list!

FOR HER

PERFUME– Seriously are you trying to comment on her personal hygiene? You can imagine yourself whats its gonna sound like, when you gift her a fragrance.

Hi baby here’s a perfume coz I don’t like how you smell.

 

rr

ROSES- This is so passe, that it’s not even funny! At the fortune you spend on a bunch of 20, you could get ride free on Uber for a month. What could give you an advantage however is plating a rose tree named after your loved one in the neighbourhood park. Wat an #IDEA Sirji!

 

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CHOCOLATES–       ‘Kuchch meetha ho jaye ‘ sounds great on TV, but you really don’t want her spending all her extra time at the gym. All thanks to your chocolate gift box!

FOR HIM

SHIRTS-

‘The closest you can get to your boy freind when you are not around him’

Sure it sounds ultra romantic, but it’s a piece of mass production! Mother’s gift Shirts, Colleague’s gift shirts , Girl friends DO NOT gift shirts!

CUFFINKS– Another classic Valentines blunder! First no one wears cufflinks anymore, unless they are quirky like a camera cufflink for a photographer etc . Secondly every man I know has at least 10 cufflinks in their wardrobe, for the 5 occasions in the year when they need to wear them! I hope you get the point.

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GADGETS– Now we all know why this is a bad idea. If you are tech challenged like most of us, you will end up getting him something that is rated 4.8/5 ! Blunder no 1. You may further end up picking a model that has only 49 features, 2 less than his current device! Blunder no 2.  I hope you cancel this thought before I have to list Blunder no 3.

 

With so many No No’s what should you get your Valentine this year ?

Well, if you are naive enough to think beauty queens can help achieve World Peace, I guess you thought reading this article could answer the million dollar question

‘What’s the perfect gift to buy for your Valentine  ‘