If I was Melania Trump, I would…

It’s not easy. It’s unforgiving. It’s thankless. It’s a hard task.

It’s great power that comes with great responsibility. While this Presidential campaign has been harsh in it’s focus on Donald Trump, its been a tough journey for the potential First Lady to-be, Melania Trump too. So, here are some of the lighter moments that make this big stand up comedy show called the US Presidential Election, a little more bearable!

Enjoy!

If I was Melania Trump… I would rather my son watch all the adult TV in the world, it’s got to be better than hearing his father talk!

If I was Melania Trump… I would be the busiest mother on this earth. Once I am done mothering my 10 year old, its time to start with my 70 year old!

If I was Melania Trump… I would keep a paternity test result handy. You never know when Donald thinks I have rigged that system too.

If I was Melania Trump… I would get a cosmetic surgery to give me a constant smile . Thats the only way I could mask a gasp when my husband says ‘ I grab women by the p****’

If I was Melania Trump… I would start my line of Lock and Key underwear. After all, being with a successful CEO has it’s upside. I can smell a business opportunity anywhere!

If I was Melania TrumpI would invest in good noise cancelling invisible ear plugs. It’s very upsetting to hear Trump bashing. After all, he is my husband!

If I was Melania Trump… I would make sure that my seat at all Trump’s rallies have a neck-back-butt massager. That’s the only way all that B*** S**** is worth listening to.

If I was Melania TrumpI would be upset with myself for being outdated. Trump mentioned this new shopping mall -Nato and I have never shopped there !

If I was Melania TrumpI would be worried about my husband wanting to seal borders. Where am I going to get my nanny, cleaners and manicurists from?

If I was Melania Trump I would get my husband into a doctor’s office immediately for his sniffing problem. Can’t have people say he is old, or they will be calling me aged next!

If I was Melania Trump I would take Donald to my hair stylist asap, I cannot afford to go down in world history pictured standing next to The Nest  at the elections! #dontcrampmystylehoney

If I was Melania Trump… and had a nickle for every time my husband said

‘I want to make America great again’ I would be a millionaire.

‘They created ISIS’ I would be a billionaire. 

‘Wrong, Incorrect’I would be a trillionaire.

-Mansi Mehta

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WHY THE CLINTON VS TRUMP PRESIDENTIAL BLOCKBUSTER IS INCOMPLETE WITHOUT POPCORN!

Alarm for 9pm New York time ?  Check

Cable Bill paid?  Check

Fellow movie lovers invited? Check

Popcorn in Microwave? Check

The US presidential debate honestly should not gather such popularity in a country that has live action to the best drama series that even Netflix would be jealous of.

Ofcourse, Rajya Sabha and Lok Sabha TV channels in India are the gateway to the ways of distinguished politicians in the world’s largest democracy. From screaming, shouting, calling names, destroying public property, throwing microphones at speakers to tearing policy papers, these stalwarts have shown how politics = entertainment . While we have enjoyed our share of cheap politics, we look forward to this one because it rarely stoops to such lows in the domains of these Super Powers

So this US presidential debate promises to keep you glued. On one hand you have a corporate honcho who has little control over his mouth and on the other an ex first lady struggling with her health. It will be interesting to see if it will transform into a bully vs the bullied, men vs women or even a 5 yr old vs a 50-year-old debate depending on the personality suit, the versatile Donald Trump chooses to don.

100 million viewers who are expected to be watching in the US alone, can look forward to character assassinations, childish behaviour, misconduct and endless screeching that would put our own Arnab ji to shame.

While Trump has not participated in many debates in this quest for the White House, Hillary has not only debated this season, but also engaged in 25 one on one debates with Barack Obama in 2008.

Presidential debates are key for those who have chosen to ignore the cacophony over the last months, only to make up their mind with this last series of face offs. They are also a turning point for those sitting on the fence, because while policies and agendas are important,  who they want to be led by over the next year’s is crucial.

So whether Donald trumps Hillary or Hillary trumps Donald, make sure you enjoy the show with the best seat in the house!

-Mansi Mehta

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