Here’s what I learnt from watching Dangal.

My Dangal starts every morning at 9 am,the fight against traffic to get to my destination, the fight against time to get things done, the fight against cellular services, incompetent team players, bosses, auto driver…. I can go on forever…

But as I watched Aamir Khan starrer Dangal this weekend, I realised there’s a lesson to be learnt here. So this list goes up on my kitchen board, so that every time I forget I am reminded of how I can make my everyday Dangal free ( And yes it’s easier written than done )

BURA MAT SUNO

I loved Aamir’s calm composure and ability to drown out the rubbish, through the most difficult times.  One of my biggest challenges, Anger, is like Delhi Police With me, for me,  always. But the key is to keep what the end goal in mind and not let the journey take the steam away .

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MONEY CAN’T BUY LOVE, TALENT OR TIME

Babita and Geeta were trained on every things but wrestling equipment in their formative years. Every  alternative in the book was devised to give them a wrestling experience closest to the real thing. How many times do we say we don’t have time to learn a new language, or the money to keep our hobby alive? The things that give us the most pleasure and cost nothing are on the bottom of our priority list.

LOOKS/NAME TAGS CAN BE DECEPTIVE

A national level coach with the best resources could not help Geeta win an International Championship. We have an inbuilt judgement app, that scans people on the basis of their appearance, designation, or status, and while we try to get their attention, they may not be the right stimulus for us.

THE ONES WE TAKE FOR GRANTED ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE OUR BACK

Geeta lost 3 International titles before it dawned on her that she had refused In house Coach Daddy Aamir Khan’s advice. I take my parents for granted as much as the next kid on the block, but hopefully I will be able to sift through the advice they give me so I can grow into my own.

KUCH TO LOG KAHENGE

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Training two teenage girls for wrestling in a male dominated society in a tier 4 city? Recipe for instant isolation. I am sure you have heard one of these:

Don’t invite boys home at night  …log kya sochenge

Don’t wear a short dress…log kya sochenge

Don’t eat from the roadside dhaba…log kya sochenge

The faster I grow deaf to the log kya sochenge syndrome, the faster I will get on with life.

DREAM A LITTLE DREAM FOR YOURSELF

Materialistic dreams are easily attained, but our innermost desires are gathering dust under years of superficial existence. Listen to that inner voice before it fades away.

KUCH PAANE KE LIYE KUCH KHONA PADTA HAI

There are sacrifices galore to be made on the road to success… It may have been pani puchkas for the budding wrestlers, in my case it could be anything from sleep, diet or abstinence from the mall depending on what my goal is.

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Thanks Aamir, for making the difficult journey of Mahavir Singh Phogat and his daughters so inspiring for people like us who have it all and yet seem to be wasting it all away.

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Only Shah Rukh Khan can make DD’s so sexy

Movies- a reflection of our environment, characteristic of society’s new trends, steeped in the coolest words of the month, Director Gauri Shinde masterfully brings all 3 components together in her latest ‘ Dear Zindagi’

How else would a psychologist become a DD- Dimaag ka doctor and the pursuit of THE partner be explained as the journey of finding the right chair.

Mental illness has always been a taboo, sometimes I think even more than HIV. In true Indian fashion, it took a Deepika Padukone recently to bring the matter to the forefront,  and now its SRK and Alia Bhatt who are helping add style and cool quotient to the  otherwise stigma.

The funny thing about the Dimaag ka Doctor is that in life, we all ‘need’ and actually should ‘visit’ every once in a while. Like the customary eye test, the standard blood tests etc why should our dimaag not get the routine makeover?

The brain- a reservoir of feelings, emotions, thoughts, wishes is well guarded by our personal watchman- the Ego and while we think we can handle it all, there are many hints our bodies give us to tell us otherwise… And that’s what I love about Dear Zindagi. It takes a bout of sleepless nights, a physical symptom, for Alia Bhatt aka ‘Kaira’, to gather the courage to go to SRK aka Jehangir Khan, a therapist.

 

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The setting of the film is perfect- a young woman cinematographer trying to make her way in the big bad world of movies, constantly in and out of relationships topped with a strained relationship with the parents having to move out of her Mumbai apartment because she is ‘single’.

Reality depicted in reel did you say? Yes.

As Kaira, moves to Goa for a break, the director takes a leaf from every parent’s book and so start the interrogations

‘Are you Lebanese ?’ asks Uncle

‘Oho! Lebanese nahi Lesbian !’ chides the Aunty followed by the usual suspect

‘Why don’t you settle down ? ‘

The interrogation dinner is enough to send Kaira running off to stay with her friend away from the family madness.

Cut to sleepless nights and the entry of the DD ( Dimmag ka Doctor)  SRK.

ShahRukh’s casual demeanor , cool clothing, super hot beard and most importantly toned down over-acting makes him not only a delight to watch, but also makes one wish for a therapist like him who can help you with the small things in life.

As the film continues to dwell into Kaira’s past, her innermost fears and how it has affected her life, Dr Khan not only helps her de-clutter her life, but also makes her fall in love.

In my personal case, over the last couple of years my partner and I seem to have automatically become each other’s therapist. Long  drives that started as exactly that, long drives, have now become our dimmag ka doctor sessions- a space where neither judges, scolds or tries to offer solutions to the other on problems or those ‘life’ questions that keep popping up. It’s a time that we use to bare our soul, not to the other but actually to ourself. And the fact that it’s done out of the house, actually makes us more vulnerable  to open up but less vulnerable to feeling hurt.

In the end, the film reminds us yet again, if we don’t learn to ‘ Love you Zindagi’ it’s going to be the most miserable journey you have ever been on!

 

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